20 check-in questions
Calmly review your recent reactions and protective actions across 20 questions.
When your mind gets shaken, how do you respond?
The words pouring down are like weather — not yours to control. What you can control is opening the umbrella.
Start with the signals your body showed first. Separate what was actually said from what's yours to handle, and review the protective actions you use now.
Nothing needs solving today. Recalling one recent uncomfortable situation is enough.
5 steps to open the umbrella
From noticing body signals to protective action, step by step.
Reviewing protective actions
Sort what you already do from what could use more practice.
The order the umbrella opens
- Notice
- Feelings vs. tasks
- Check responsibility
- Pause
- Act
Your answers are neither stored nor sent to a server.
Emotional Umbrella questions
Reviewing my emotional umbrella
Instead of how to stop the rain, you looked at where your umbrella opens smoothly and where it sticks. Your 20 answers are sorted into frequent actions and ones to practice more.
If you're in danger now, safety comes before conversation
If this is still happening, let a trusted person or a support organization know. If you're in danger now, move to where people are and call 911. If you're injured or need emergency care, call 911.
Domestic violence support 800-799-7233(24/7) · Workplace support 800-669-4000(weekdays, business hours) · Legal help referrals 211
Across the 20 questions
Here's this check-in, summarized
These numbers say nothing about whether the relationship is safe or how far you've recovered. They're simply your answers this time, sorted into three groups.
What to revisit first
All five steps at a glance
Five ribs of the umbrella, one at a time. Four questions per area, with this round's answers sorted into three groups.
Not-yet-familiar actions
Start with the questions marked 'Not familiar yet' or 'Rarely.'
View all not-yet-familiar actions
This result is a reference for reviewing your current protective actions
This result alone doesn't settle why your mind was shaken. If the same thing keeps happening, write down the actual words and actions. Consider, too, whether fatigue, anxiety, or burnout plays a part.