Visitor's guide

Do the same words and behaviors keep repeating?

Take the scenes that have been circling in your head and set them on the display shelf, one by one. From a step back, you can calmly see whether any of them overlap. You don't have to guess at their type or inner motives first. Choose only words and behavior you experienced two or more times in the last 3 months. If the relationship has already ended, think back to the last 3 months you were in regular contact.

This tool doesn't diagnose anyone's character. Before asking "is it all my fault?", organize the situations you've experienced repeatedly.

Before type names, look at the repeated behavior

1. Choose words and behavior

Choose what actually happened, not guessed motives.

2. Check the behavior areas

See which behavior areas your chosen scenes cluster in.

3. Set your standards

Decide whether to continue the conversation or stop and take distance.

See the references

This tool draws on the American Psychiatric Association (APA) explainer on narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and two studies — subtype research on the overt–covert distinction, communal narcissism research. The type names used here are not medical diagnoses. They're reference labels only — for calmly reviewing the words and behavior that kept repeating, and for setting a clear psychological boundary to protect yourself.

This tool alone can never establish that someone has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). It's a gentle guide for calmly organizing words and behavior that kept repeating, and for building boundaries that protect you.

STEP 1. Which relationship weighs on you most?

Choose the relationship that comes to mind first. The relationship type doesn't enter the result calculation — only the guidance wording changes to fit it.

Selecting an item moves to the next step. Use the arrow keys to move and Space or Enter to select.

Parent–child Marriage Dating Sibling Work Friendship

STEP 2. Choose what you experienced repeatedly

Choose only scenes that happened two or more times in the last 3 months. A single argument or slip of the tongue doesn't need to count.

Violence, stalking, confinement, sexual coercion, choking, weapon threats, or threats of physical harm or self-harm are serious danger signs even once. Don't count occurrences — secure a safe distance first. If you're in danger right now, call 911 or another emergency service immediately.

There's no need to choose many of the 24. Pick only words and behavior you actually experienced. If none of a group applies, move on to the next — and after seeing them all, finishing with zero is a valid result.

Scene group 1/6 0 scenes chosen

The behavior I experienced, organized

Your chosen scenes, gathered by behavior

Finding where behaviors clustered

This is not a verdict on anyone's character or on NPD. It only groups the behavior you repeatedly experienced.

What to take care of first, for your own heart

Taking away just one small standard you need today is enough.

The 6 behavior areas where scenes clustered

First see where your chosen behavior clustered. The hexagon isn't a score rating anyone's type or dangerousness.

The scenes I chose

This result is organized only from the scenes you chose. It doesn't imply you experienced the behaviors you didn't choose.

Actions to try next

Try this

Watch out for this

What difficulty remains for you now?

This doesn't affect any score. Choose the one item closest to your situation now.

Long after conversations end, I keep wondering if I was in the wrong. I hesitate to tell people close to me what actually happened. Money, housing, work, or caregiving makes distance hard. I'll skip this for now.

Four behavior groups, for reference

Type names are not diagnoses. These figures compare your chosen scenes against reference behavior groups.

One tool to try next

We show just one next step closest to this result.

Set the line you'll hold, before their type

A boundary isn't a rule to change them. It's your standard for what you'll allow and when you'll stop a conversation. Set just one line to hold today.

🏛️ The Narcissist Museum

Do the same words and behaviors keep repeating?

Before type names, look at the repeated behavior

1. Choose words and behavior

2. Check the behavior areas

3. Set your standards

STEP 1. Which relationship weighs on you most?

STEP 2. Choose what you experienced repeatedly

For this scene, check safety first

The behavior I experienced, organized

Pressure behavior to see before any type

Finding where behaviors clustered

What to take care of first, for your own heart

The 6 behavior areas where scenes clustered

The scenes I chose

Actions to try next

Try this

Watch out for this

What difficulty remains for you now?

Four behavior groups, for reference

One tool to try next

Set the line you'll hold, before their type

🧭 Before type names, look at the repeated behavior

1. Choose words and behavior

2. Check the behavior areas

3. Set your standards

🧭 For this scene, check safety first

🧭 Pressure behavior to see before any type

Finding where behaviors clustered

🧭 What to take care of first, for your own heart

🗺️ The 6 behavior areas where scenes clustered

🧾 The scenes I chose

☑️ Actions to try next

✅ Try this

❌ Watch out for this

🌿 What difficulty remains for you now?

🎭 Four behavior groups, for reference

🔗 One tool to try next

🌱 Set the line you'll hold, before their type

🗺️ The 6 behavior areas as a hexagon

🎭 Four behavior groups, for reference

Before type names, look at the repeated behavior

For this scene, check safety first

Pressure behavior to see before any type

What to take care of first, for your own heart

The 6 behavior areas where scenes clustered

The scenes I chose

Actions to try next

Try this

Watch out for this

What difficulty remains for you now?

Four behavior groups, for reference

One tool to try next

Set the line you'll hold, before their type

The 6 behavior areas as a hexagon

Four behavior groups, for reference