Before announcing the breakup, build your safety plan
Decide who to contact, where to go, and your first move
The safety plan comes before the last conversation. Where there has been violence or control, danger can rise when the breakup is announced.
Where there has been violence, stalking, or control, safety comes first. No verdicts on character or motives — the emergency plan is built only on the words and actions you actually experienced.
One emergency contact
Decide who you'd ask for help first in an emergency.
One place to go
Decide where you could go, even briefly, in an emergency.
Priority actions in a crisis
Set the concrete order of movement and contact in a crisis.
This doesn't mean you should leave right now
You don't need to persuade them or get permission. But danger can rise when the breakup is announced. If leaving right away isn't possible, prepare who you'd contact and where you'd go first.
What you write stays in this window only. Refreshing or closing it erases everything.
View the sources this draws on
This draws on safety-planning and digital-security guidance for violent and controlling relationships. It is not a test that scores your danger, nor a recommendation to end the relationship immediately.
If you report stalking, you can ask about a protective (restraining) order — courts can prohibit approaching you and contacting you by phone, text, or other means. Procedures and names vary by state; police, a victim advocate, or legal aid can explain the steps where you live.
Step 1. Review the warning signs you've experienced
1 / 5Check anything you've experienced even once. The count is not a score. Even one applies? Check safety first.
Step 2. Decide who to contact and where to go
2 / 5You don't have to fill in everything. If they could see this screen, use initials or nicknames only you would recognize, not real names.
To write out a more detailed help plan
Step 3. Gather what the first 24–72 hours require
3 / 5Don't miss your window trying to gather everything at once. Start with what the first 24 hours truly require; extend to 72 hours' worth if you can.
Prepare documents, money, and records too
Step 4. Location sharing and account security — set the order of changes
4 / 5If you suspect monitoring, don't rush the security changes
Abruptly changing passwords or turning off location sharing can tip them off and intensify retaliation or pressure. From another device they can't check, review your account security and records first. Decide in advance who will help and when the settings will change.
Set the safe order of changes, too
Step 5. First moves for each contact-and-approach situation
5 / 5Before telling them, decide how to communicate safely
Meeting in person isn't required. If you feel unsafe or see warning signs, decide first where you'd go and who you'd call. If there has been violence or threats, don't meet them alone.
Write the announcement lines and the after-departure plan
My safety plan
It contains names, contacts, and places. Check your surroundings and device first. If they could see the screen, don't open it.
Full safety plan
The saved image can remain in your gallery, downloads folder, recents, and automatic cloud backups. If they could see this device's files, don't save it.