Narcissism Glossary
making the child deliver adult messages
📨 In parental conflict, avoiding direct communication and routing the adults' business — child support, apologies, schedules — through the child, loading them with emotional weight.
Standing a young child up as courier for the adults' fights and money leaves wounds in the child's heart.
Standing a young child up as courier for the adults' fights and money leaves wounds in the child's heart.
Often seen in situations like these
"You tell Dad to send the child support." "Tell Mom there's no visit until she apologizes." The messages travel through the child.
When this happens, try this
💡 Reassure the child: "This is grown-up business, and none of it is your fault." Set the rule that parent-to-parent contact and child support run only through direct channels — text or email — never through the child.