Narcissist Behavior Q&A
🔎 I want to know if they truly changed after the apology
Look at whether the behavior shrank after the apology, and whether promises were kept. Verifying change never requires staying somewhere dangerous.
| Words-only apology | Apology with actions behind it |
|---|---|
| Rushes you to forgive quickly | Waits, without rushing, until trust returns |
| The same thing keeps happening | The wrong behavior actually gets fixed |
The short answer
Watch whether they own what they did, and whether behavior actually changes.
Scenes like this
- The tears and total-change promises only appeared when you said you were leaving.
- A few good days after the apology, then the same behavior returned.
How to tell the difference
Do they acknowledge without excuses? And do they refrain from rushing you back to trust?
When this happens, try this
- Write down, with dates, whether anything actually changed after the apology.
- And remember this: you are not required to keep the relationship running, spending your time and energy, just to find out whether they changed.