Narcissist Behavior Q&A
😔 If I'd done better, maybe it would've been different
The moments you spoke clumsily can be reflected on. Their insults, pressure, and surveillance still never become your responsibility.
The short answer
You can reflect on your own behavior. You still don't have to carry the whole reason the relationship broke.
Scenes like this
- It feels like a softer tone would have spared you the insults.
- It feels like your running out of patience is what ruined it.
How to tell the difference
Write them separately: the specific things you did, and the insults, lies, and control they chose.
When this happens, try this
- Distinguish clearly, on paper, the shortcomings you'll work on from the responsibilities any person owed you and they abandoned.
- And imagine your closest friend had lived through exactly this — recall the kind words you'd want to give them.