Narcissist Behavior Q&A
👪 "You're our child" — so all the money and caregiving fall to me
Even in helping family, you need limits that protect your own life. Dividing the roles clearly, to fit your situation and means, is the right way.
The short answer
Duty to your parents and the family's image can be used to pile the money, the caregiving, and the housework onto one person.
Scenes like this
- As the eldest daughter, you were told the hospital and the living expenses were all yours.
- When you refused, they told you to pay back what it cost to raise you.
How to tell the difference
Asking for help and sharing the load is different from wielding "family" to make refusal impossible.
When this happens, try this
- Write down, realistically, the money, hours, and caregiving you can actually sustain each month.
- Put the division of roles and costs with your siblings into messages or a document, and when a sudden demand for money lands, don't answer on the spot — state clearly the limit of what you can carry.