Narcissist Behavior Q&A

🏠 All I get are promises to change

Look past "I'll really do better" to whether anything has actually changed right now.

The short answer

What matters isn't the promise to do better — it's whether behavior has already changed.

Scenes like this

  • Next month the drinking stops and the outbursts end — but there was never a concrete plan.
  • Everything would be fine once you married, once you moved, once the promotion came.

How to tell the difference

Plans can shift. What matters is a clear what-and-when — and whether it has actually started now.

When this happens, try this

Ask for the specific plan: what changes, by when, and how. It's safer to watch, over time, whether behavior actually changes and whether the change holds — rather than trusting the words.

View all questions