Narcissist Behavior Q&A
🫂 They know my pain and repeat it anyway
Actions matter far more than the verbal empathy of "I know you're hurting." Quietly check what actually changed in their behavior after you said you were hurt.
The short answer
Saying they know your heart and actually being careful with it are not the same.
Scenes like this
- You said it hurt — the same insult came back anyway.
- They knew your soft spots well, and reached for them in every fight.
How to tell the difference
Perfect understanding may be too much to ask. Accepting that you were hurt, and stopping the hurtful behavior — that isn't.
When this happens, try this
Don't let tears or an oversized apology open your heart on the spot. Note whether any behavior actually shrank or stopped after you said you were struggling.