Narcissist Behavior Q&A
🎁 Gifts and apologies arrive, asking to meet again
What matters more than any apology or gift is whether they accept your no and stop the unwanted contact and visits. Verifying that requires neither a meeting nor a reply.
The short answer
Contact that follows your distance with gifts and apologies, asking to meet again, is sometimes called "hoovering."
Scenes like this
- After the block, a gift and a letter appeared at your door.
- They were sick, or something terrible had happened — you simply had to meet.
How to tell the difference
Weigh not how tender the messages are, but whether your no is respected and behavior has actually changed.
When this happens, try this
- Don't respond on impulse to the tender messages — calmly re-confirm the communication rules you set.
- For unwanted visits to your home or work, record the dates and places, and never meet them alone. If there's trespassing or following, call 911 immediately.