Narcissist Behavior Q&A
↩️ The moment I raise an issue, my faults go on trial
Your past mistakes and the issue you just raised can be handled separately. When "like you never did that" appears, return to the words or behavior you first meant to verify.
The short answer
Each person's wrongs can be discussed and fixed one at a time.
Scenes like this
- You mentioned the yelling, and it was your frozen expression that started it.
- You asked about the money spent without discussion, and got an attack on your own spending habits.
How to tell the difference
If your behavior is truly a problem, you can own it and fix it. Even then, their behavior doesn't become your responsibility.
When this happens, try this
Say: "My past mistakes get their own conversation — right now, let's settle what I just raised." Two problems can be handled one at a time instead of settled in one verdict.