Narcissist Behavior Q&A
🩹 They had a painful past — must I keep enduring?
You can feel for their old wounds — and still owe no duty to endure the abuse and violence aimed at you now.
The short answer
Understanding their wounds doesn't require enduring their insults and control.
Scenes like this
- A hard childhood was supposed to cover every outburst.
- When you stepped back, you were abandoning a wounded person.
How to tell the difference
A painful past can be a reason to get help and change. That's different from using the past to dodge responsibility. Painful feelings and harming others remain separate things.
When this happens, try this
Write in two columns: what they went through, and what they did to you today. Understanding the past and continuing to absorb the present insults and control are not the same task.