Narcissist Behavior Q&A
🙃 They hurt me, then say it was just a joke
Once the listener feels hurt, it's no longer a joke. Demanding you laugh it off is rude pressure wearing a joke's clothing.
The short answer
However lightly it was said, remarks that keep cutting you down can't be filed under jokes.
Scenes like this
- They put down your looks or your income, then told you to lighten up.
- They mocked you in front of people, then said your straight face ruined the evening.
How to tell the difference
A clumsy joke can be apologized for and retired. Watch whether it gets worse after you say it hurt — or becomes your fault.
When this happens, try this
Name the remark and the change you want, briefly: "That one hurt. Please don't say it again."