Narcissist Behavior Q&A
😢 They rage or cry, and somehow I become the comforter
Their tears or outburst doesn't erase the harm done to you. Soothing their feelings must not bury the hurt you rightfully raised.
The short answer
While you're busy comforting them, the problem you first raised can quietly get buried.
Scenes like this
- You spoke about being hurt, and they cried harder than you.
- They stormed out, and it ended with you apologizing to bring them back.
How to tell the difference
Time to cool down can be legitimate. What matters is whether, once they're back, the original issue can be discussed again.
When this happens, try this
When they erupt or cry, rather than rushing to soothe, say "let's talk again once things are calm" and pause. If speaking again is hard, the essentials can go in writing.